ridicule
07/23/24 12:22pm
Day in and day out, regretting every fiber of your sickly being. You told me it didn't matter what they thought and decided to listen to them regardless, become what you fucking despise. You abandon every past desire in favor of something so utterly fucking filthy that you can't even stand to even look at yourself in the mirror. Ironic, as I'm sure you're aware. Practically raping multiple women and only being able to cum while pretending to be them. An autogynepheliac with less self-worth than usual. I'm surprised you're even still alive. Convince yourself that you stopped for some greater reason, while the drug abuse and constant sexual fantasies wrap around your mind and torture you. You're alright, as long as everybody says you are. They know so much better than that big head of yours. Tell me again about your womanizing fantasies after pinching my nipples so tight they bruise yellow and black. Yell at me through nothing but SMS. Tell me how sad my life is; I'm sorry, I forgot you only assault drunk girls, it would be such a pity if they had any semblance of critical thought in their head. Bones push their hardest against pale anemic skin. Unmistakeably male, only a deluded faggot would think that he ever had a chance of becoming even close to a woman. Of course I never bothered telling you anyways, you were always too busy with something besides me. Five wasted years of hoping and wondering for such a small mistake. I wonder if you ever really meant any of it.
Walking down a trail, convincing me to hold your hand just so that it feels right. I didn't want to be there but you still went through with it. Wanted it to be perfect but the pretense made it feel all wrong. Nothing personal, just business. Countless arguments leading up to this? Reprehensible. Keeping me around for some sick fetish only I can fulfill. What's the love in that? Morally ambiguous, but you were drunk so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Throwing me there to lay and really soak in the moment. Snow piling above the shiny white tip of my shoes. Convincing somebody who does not need to be convinced. Step down from your high horse already, acting so much better than fucking anybody else. Because you suffer a fate you have placed upon yourself. Who suffers the most? Rumors running wild, and why do you seem to care so much? Such little forethought, makes it seem like you almost wanted to be hated. Killing yourself over nothing. Fucking crybaby. And you think I haven't been through enough yet? I'd like to see you try having real issues for once. Go ahead, put your dirty fucking cock back into those khakis. Tangled pubic hairs, nothing short of a complete fucking mess. No wonder you rape them in the dark. Why don't you start really living, escape your sad bubble. Attacking me because it's what I want. Go ahead, enact those sick fantasies. Live through me vicariously while I choke on your sad limp dick. No wonder you're depressed. So jealous that you can't express it any other way than hating every part of me. It's certainly too late now, that jawline could cut through fucking steel. Eyes with no emotion behind them. I saw you the other day with those girls. A cult of personality, it makes me sick. How's life in your basement? Still kicking, drinking your father's liquor? I sure hope you think about those woods as often as I do. Maybe then I wouldn't feel as stupid for actually believing you. Arrogant and wrong. Ultimate surface-level confidence in your own self blinds you from others. How was I supposed to know. Besides, even if I did, it's not like it would be any different.
back